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Time for kickoff ...

P paulyMember
WORLD CUP

LIST OF RULES FOR WOMEN

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose an eye.

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement"
will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one"
game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Men of the World
Original Post

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K killerbMember
Reasonable list, I'll print it out in large text and nail it to the wall.

As for tough group - only Brazil is the big threat. Croatia and Japan are fair and any one of the three could go through with Brazil. There is no group of death where a fancied team will go out because there are too many in one group.

Toughest groups - C and E. Don't expect the USA to go through when they have to get past the Italians and the Czechs.
D davetongbbpMember
I shall TiVo every game as I did last time. Thankfully this time round every game will be on broadcast TV; the last World Cup cost me about $200 to order on Pay Per View.

We are trying to figure out how to watch it at work. Playing at 6PM and 9PM in Germany is a pain for us expats as every match is during work hours. Korea was much better in that regard Smile

I'm thinking of taking a DirecTV TiVo in and rigging up a satellite dish either by the window or in the car park.

I'm reasonably confident of seeing England reach the semi finals. Unfortunately the winner of group B eventually meets the winner of group F in the semis - which means if we win the group we'll be up against Brazil.

I'd put money on the USA not progressing beyond the group stage, and probably Australia too I'm afraid.
D davetongbbpMember
quote:
Originally posted by tlily:
Dave,

"Off Site to discuss I18 impact on product development"

A.K.A.

"The Sports Page has all the games on"


Smile Truer than you realise.

Eight years ago I was working out of an office in Mountain View. I believe it's now Google office number e or pi or something. Half the team was British (still is that way) and we watched all the England games at the Sports Page. I distinctly remember the whole pub yelling "You W@nker" when Beckham got himself sent off against Argentina.

The next year they moved us over to the Newark campus, and there aren't any decent sports bars over there.

Now they are talking about closing the Newark campus and moving us back to Menlo Park. So there's a very strong possibility that we'll be holding a number of ... self-funded off-site team building excercises.
D davetongbbpMember
quote:
Originally posted by KillerB:
We can take Brazil this time, just like we could have last time.


Referees willing. I still say that goal should have stood.

I certainly think we have our best chance for many a long year. I was two years old the last time we won it. Robinson's a far better keeper than Calamity James ever was, which is crucial.

quote:
I'm not so sure that Australia can't go through. They have a couple of good keepers plus Kewell and Viduka further up. If they play to their abilities they can get to the second round before they get stuffed by Italy or the Czech Republic.


True. *If* they can beat Croatia they should be OK. As it works out they play each other last which should make for an entertaining match.
steve8steve8Member
quote:
Originally posted by Dave Tong:


I'm reasonably confident of seeing England reach the semi finals. Unfortunately the winner of group B eventually meets the winner of group F in the semis - which means if we win the group we'll be up against Brazil.


Bring 'em on. Go England.

(ex-pat living in French Canada) Confused
K killerbMember
I was 2 too!! Have we had this conversation before?

Let's list the games we invented and everybody else is better at:

Football
Rugby
Cricket
Tennis
Hockey
Rounders

and these are just the major ones.

BTW:

American football is based on Rugby but cheating with sissy padding and forward passes;

Baseball is Rounders but cheating by using both hands to hold the bat, it's a bigger bat and, forgive me if I'm wrong, you don't need a full rounder to score, you get three balls, and you don't get caught out;

Ice Hockey is obviousley based on field hockey but noncing around on skates and padded up again;

Aussie Rules appears to be Rugby on a cricket field with a bit more fighting.
D davetongbbpMember
quote:
Originally posted by KillerB:
I was 2 too!! Have we had this conversation before?

Possibly. At our age you start to forget things.

quote:

Let's list the games we invented and everybody else is better at:

Football
Rugby
Cricket
Tennis
Hockey
Rounders

and these are just the major ones.

BTW:

American football is based on Rugby but cheating with sissy padding and forward passes;

Baseball is Rounders but cheating by using both hands to hold the bat, it's a bigger bat and, forgive me if I'm wrong, you don't need a full rounder to score, you get three balls, and you don't get caught out;

Ice Hockey is obviousley based on field hockey but noncing around on skates and padded up again;

Aussie Rules appears to be Rugby on a cricket field with a bit more fighting.


Are you related to George Carlin?

You do get caught out in American Rounders. In fact there's an interesting article in The Grauniad on why Americans really ought to be playing cricket instead of rounders.
K killerbMember
Nice article Dave. Apologies for not knowing you could be caught out in American Rounders.

BTW, it is traditional when somebody hits a Rounders ball into oblivion for everybody to chant "Rounder Rounder" until the snot-faced little oik has completed his rounder. Does the same sort of thing happen for a home-run, which is basically the same thing?

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