Say Something Completely Random And Off Topic

The maestro says it's Mozart, but it sounds like bubble gum.

I would accept that as an axiom

Mmm...burritos...

Mmmm....Scarjo

No matter where you go...there you are.

I'm lost

I'm not a chicken, I'm a dog

The trick to dealing with her (wife or mother works) is to accept that she's right and you're wrong. If that is your starting position, negotiations for your surrender can progress rather smoothly.

You shouldn't kiss a girl when you're wearing that gun ... leaves a bruise.

The suction-cup speed boxing bag my wife put in my stocking for christmas is getting a lot of use this morning. From everyone in the office. Better than throwing staplers at the interns though. Neither hit back but less lawsuits from the boxing bag...

ohhh Robby, are you in need of a good offline?

quote:

Originally posted by mangiare:
ohhh Robby, are you in need of a good offline?

Yes, yes I am!

Looking forward to the cage match between Odd Job and The Iron Sheik (aav vs. BigP) as well. I'm going to bring my own folding chair and table!

my only question becomes which villain are you going to break the folding chair over?

quote:

Originally posted by vinoevelo:
my only question becomes which villain are you going to break the folding chair over?

No, I would just be a sh!t disturber and throw the chair in at an opportune time for either to use.

Gilooly.

its cold

How does a blind person know when to stop wiping?

quote:

Originally posted by bdklein:
How does a blind person know when to stop wiping?

Well, if you were anywhere near them then they would never know. They could wipe a thousand times and still smell sh!t!

But it's all...warm and steamy.

See that, Crabtree? That's what you get!

Tyler Fitzgerald: You know what I need? I need a drink. There's some ice and stuff back there. Why don't you make us all some old fashioneds?

Ding Bell: "Old Fashioneds"? Do you think you oughta drink while you're flying?

Tyler Fitzgerald: Well stop kidding, will ya, and make us some drinks! You just press the button back there marked "booze". It's the only way to fly!

Thinking of a master plan

quote:

Originally posted by vinoevelo:
Thinking of a master plan

The Well Part II?

quote:

Originally posted by Rob_Sutherland:

quote:

Originally posted by vinoevelo:
Thinking of a master plan

The Well Part II?

more Eric B. & Rakim.

75% of the US population like the smell of their own farts.

84% in Canada with the exchange rate.

You told your wife you took a Viagra? You're not supposed to do that. I think it's on the warning label.

How can bright people be so blind/led-by-emotion/incurious/accepting-without-investigation evidence-free allegations found to be highly improbable 21 years ago?

Punxsutawney Phil says six more weeks of winter.

Ditto... Staten Island Chuck!

Go Broncos.

quote:

Originally posted by Mike Goldman:
Ditto... Staten Island Chuck!

And Etobicoke Ernie. Or maybe that was a raccoon I spotted.

Poooor Peyton

Omaha.ha.ha.ha.....

quote:

Originally posted by sunnylea57:

quote:

Originally posted by Mike Goldman:
Ditto... Staten Island Chuck!

And Etobicoke Ernie Robbie. Or maybe that was a raccoon the crack of an ass I spotted.

Sixty percent of the time it works every time.

It's snowing outside, and it looks great! Snow on the hedge, bushes, and trees. Looks like a Christmas card picture today.

The cold winter is slowing down invasive species like the pine beatle that are decimating forests.

The snow accumulation will provide moisture for farmer's crops in spring.

Whitefish spawn when there is ice coverage .

It's difficult to powder ski without snow.

Winter is good!

quote:

Originally posted by VinCentric:
It's snowing outside, and it looks great! Snow on the hedge, bushes, and trees. Looks like a Christmas card picture today.

The cold winter is slowing down invasive species like the pine beatle that are decimating forests.

The snow accumulation will provide moisture for farmer's crops in spring.

Whitefish spawn when there is ice coverage .

It's difficult to powder ski without snow.

Winter is good!

Bah, humbug!!

quote:

Originally posted by VinCentric:
It's snowing outside, and it looks great! Snow on the hedge, bushes, and trees. Looks like a Christmas card picture today.

The cold winter is slowing down invasive species like the pine beatle that are decimating forests.

The snow accumulation will provide moisture for farmer's crops in spring.

Whitefish spawn when there is ice coverage .

It's difficult to powder ski without snow.

Winter is good!

if you need me... i'll be on the BX course....

I hear it's great for business

maybe if I owned a body shop

stamps up 3 cents

e-mail

World Champion Seattle Seahawks...

Dennis Rodman.

Everything about him is completely random and off topic.

Hate stickers on fruit and veggies

quote:

Originally posted by E A Bowers [FlWino]:
Hate stickers on fruit and veggies

Seriously. Fruit always tastes better with some glue residue on it.

Goldie, how many times have I told you boys I don't want no horsin' around on the airplane?

You talkin' to me?

It's gonna be EPIC

out to buy more stickies and fruit

quote:

Originally posted by Merengue:
It's gonna be EPIC

PH

quote:

Originally posted by PurpleHaze:

quote:

Originally posted by Merengue:
It's gonna be EPIC

PH

Not at all, Jackie, old boy! Not at all. I'm sure every one of those men died thinking of you, Jackie. Every last man-jack of them.

That ought to confuse the punters.

quote:

Originally posted by KSC02:

quote:

Originally posted by PurpleHaze:

quote:

Originally posted by Merengue:
It's gonna be EPIC

PH

The pictures I was getting texted made my heart race and mouth water.

Looking forward to hearing ALL about it, gents.

quote:

Originally posted by wine+art:

quote:

Originally posted by KSC02:

quote:

Originally posted by PurpleHaze:

quote:

Originally posted by Merengue:
It's gonna be EPIC

PH

The pictures I was getting texted made my heart race and mouth water.

+1
Definitively an Epic evening for the gents in MD

WeAreHockey!!

quote:

Originally posted by Bruce Hayes:
WeAreHockey!!

What a game!

quote:

Originally posted by KSC02:

quote:

Originally posted by Bruce Hayes:
WeAreHockey!!

What a game!

Worth getting up for.

Why do red M&M's taste better than blue M&M's?

quote:

Originally posted by wine+art:
Why do red M&M's taste better than blue M&M's?

I've always been most partial to the brown ones.

Torn Medial Meniscus

quote:

Originally posted by Rob_Sutherland:
Torn Medial Meniscus

Having surgery?

quote:

Originally posted by wineismylife:

quote:

Originally posted by Rob_Sutherland:
Torn Medial Meniscus

Having surgery?

MRI in 2 weeks and booked in for a scope. Starting physio on Monday in case the MRI shows I don't need surgery.

Interesting they'd start you on physio before the MRI.

quote:

Originally posted by wineismylife:
Interesting they'd start you on physio before the MRI.

Dr. thinks it's 50-50 I need surgery and I can go to physio now and it's 2 weeks to the MRI (which is FAST in the great, cold northern land of state healthcare!).

But at the end of the day I just do what I'm told...

My Dr. was the opposite. I showed up at his office without my crutches and he said get back on them now to give him every piece of material to work with possible when he did the surgery.

Mine was a bucket handle tear of the left meniscus.

quote:

Originally posted by wineismylife:
Interesting they'd start you on physio before the MRI.

+1

My doc did a MRI the same day of my first visit.

Rob, all the best and a speedy recovery.

I was hoping for some light reading at the end of my work day but I can't find the thread involving Welshtar, tfland and some bottles of Cristal?

Deleted or moved to the Entertainment section?

I made the mistake of mentioning GCHQ. You should always assume you are being watched.

quote:

Originally posted by Rob_Sutherland:
Torn Medial Meniscus

Good luck: Had arthroscopy for a bucket handle tear of my MM (along with micro fracture chondroplasty in my patellofemoral compartment) about 3 years ago. Did fine until my ski trip last week. Just trying to prolong the inevitable (total knee).

You may well well think that, I couldn't possibly comment.

Mein Führer! I can walk!

hum me nah, hum me nah, hum me nah.......

Hey Norton, I know, that you know that I know that you know....

quote:

Originally posted by VinCentric:
Hey Norton, I know, that you know that I know that you know....

I'm talking about a little place called aspen.

Oh, I dunno Lloyd... The French are a$$holes...

Like us on Facebook, and follow us on twitter.

Karma has come to Sunny Southern California.

Floods, 65mph gusts, hail...it 's getting pretty nasty out here.

"We needed the rain," they said...

"Record droughts," they said...

quote:

Originally posted by DoktaP:
Maple Leafs don't have a website 'cause they can't put 3 w's together in a row.

HWY 11, Leaf's zero.

Californians won't be happy until they can get designer weather.

quote:

Originally posted by mneeley490:
Californians won't be happy until they can get designer weather.

Ok...

I've had my fair share of crappy weather experiences (Hurricane Andrew, Oklahoma Tornadoes, Texas hail, Iraq summers, Afghanistan winters...etc), but we got drenched this weekend. Our dry ground doesn't handle that amount of water very well, so everything's flooded around us.

Having said that, the majority of the people here welcome the rain.

what time did the Crimea thread get removed?

quote:

Originally posted by E A Bowers [FlWino]:
what time did the Crimea thread get removed?

My thoughts exactly... Looked last night and it was gone.

Vegetarian

Old Indian term for Poor Hunter

quote:

Originally posted by E A Bowers [FlWino]:
Vegetarian

Old Indian term for Poor Hunter

May we dance with yo dates?

P people
E eating
T tasty
A animals

quote:

Originally posted by E A Bowers [FlWino]:
P people
E eating
T tasty
A animals

I always say, if God didn't want us to eat animals, why'd He make them outta meat?

The meaning of life? Nature's way of keeping meat fresh.

"pork and beaner"...another name for bad fishermen. Heard that from a native Canadian on a remote fishing trip.

WGW, Cabane a Vin, Bitches!!!

If attacked by a vulture, don't play dead.

Nanocanter.

I am sick of winter!

102.8 inches in Rochester NY. Glad I moved.

Beware the Ides of March.

Only one of those was a conviction.

Happy St. Paddy's Day

It wasn't me. I was sitting in the back seat.

quote:

Originally posted by Bruce Hayes:
It wasn't me. I was sitting in the back seat.

Driving from there?

The world is a better place with bacon in it.

Is Mrs. Doubtfire smoldering hot? Sorry, just saw a clip on ABC World News.

I was just helping the sheep over the fence, Officer.

"He's a stone delta blues man; he's a top rollmo' star..."

This stern decree, you'll understand
caused great dismay throughout the land
for young and old and shy and bold were equally affected.
The youth who winked a roving eye
or breathed a non-connubial sigh
was there upon condemned to die -- he usually objected,
objected,
objected.
He usually objected.

And you'll allow as I expect
that he was right to so object.
And I am right and you are right and everything is quite correct!

Male Defendant: Your Honor, I don't think my attorney can adequately defend me any longer. You see, I have feelings for him. I've expressed this to him, and now he no longer takes my calls or answers my letters. As difficult a situation as I find myself in, it is even more so with love in the mix.

(Public defender was a straight male, and blushing like Rudolph's nose in court.)

Happy May Day

Oh! Take me back to dear old Blighty,
Put me on the train for London Town,
Take me anywhere,
Drop me anywhere,
Liverpool, Leeds or Birmingham
But I don't care...

I have a dangerous love affair with Pamplemousse Perrier. While I prefer glass bottles I heartily applaud the decision to switch to 1L plastic bottles from the previous 750ml glass, especially as they are the same price.

the past is just a story you tell yourself

The sword swallower, he comes up to you and then he kneels,
he crosses himself and then he clicks his high heels,
and without further notice he asks you how it feels,
and he says, "here is your throat back, thanks for the loan."

Bonjour

mmmmm.... It does go well with the chicken

Delicious again Peter.

Chalk balls.

Bow to your Sensei!

To the Vets

Thanks

I once met a man from Tacoma
he had quite a foul aroma
he said with a frown
as he fell dead to the ground
I should have stuck with the Paloma

Today I learned that w + a is a cheap son of a bitch.

I just laughed out loud.

Love to meet you all at an online event.

If I can find it.

quote:

Originally posted by Wine Sparty:
I just laughed out loud.

Friggin' guy beat me to it!

4 people cover you and only 3 people actively trade you and you DON'T put one of them (us) in the syndicate?!?

How can I say this succinctly yet still adequately?

Lap naai?
Baise toi?
Fick Dich?
Lekh tezdayen?
Va chingate?

How well do you handle being friend zoned? On a Scale of Jorah Mormont to Petyr Balish.

They seek him here,
They seek him there
Those Frenchies seek him everywhere
Is he in heaven,
Is he in hell
That damned elusive Pimpernel

Do you have any sweet reds?

$15 an hour minimum wage = $20 cheeseburger?

I would not say such things if I were you.

With municipal and provincial elections on the go at the same time in Toronto/Ontario I think to two of my more favorite political quotes:

“There are a lot of idiots in this country, and they deserve representation as much as the next man.”

"At the end of the first round of this political debate, I will award three points to Mr. Kaine for an excellent nonspecific condemnation, plus one bonus point for blaming the previous government and another for successfully mutating the question to promote the party line. Mr. van de Poste gets a point for a firm rebuttal, but only two points for his condemnation, as he tried to inject an impartial and intelligent observation.”

Have I mentioned I hate moving?

Talk is cheap because supply far exceeds demand.

The 100 point wines are Mine, BY RIGHT. All those who deny me are my foe !

Opened the TSX this morning. Wow you have to do a lot of clapping! My arms are still sore.

quote:

Originally posted by Rob_Sutherland:
Opened the TSX this morning. Wow you have to do a lot of clapping! My arms are still sore.

Really? Is this something random that you overheard, or did you actually open the TSX? Looking forward to hearing more about this tonight.

quote:

Originally posted by sunnylea57:

quote:

Originally posted by Rob_Sutherland:
Opened the TSX this morning. Wow you have to do a lot of clapping! My arms are still sore.

Really? Is this something random that you overheard, or did you actually open the TSX? Looking forward to hearing more about this tonight.

I randomly actually opened it this morning. Well not that random, I din't wander in and hit the bell or anything, but...

If you use all of your letters, it's a 50 point bonus.

Just watched the Paul George video which made me count. It's been 7728 days since my leg didn't hurt.

"He hasn't had an arrest in about eight years."
"He was in prison for most of that time.

This forum is dead.

This doesn't happen very often:

There are currently 1 member(s) and 180 guest(s) on the forums.
wineismylife

quote:

Originally posted by wineismylife:
This doesn't happen very often:

There are currently 1 member(s) and 180 guest(s) on the forums.
wineismylife

Seems we were just talking about the current state of this forum at an off-line on Wednesday.

Where you been Wine+ ?

quote:

Originally posted by txgolfpro:
Where you been Wine+ ?

Same place everyone else has been, which is not here it seems.

We need to visit Urbano again and soon.

I've just about finished my cellar, come to find out; if want to rack 1400 bottles it takes 2800 12" pieces of stock, cut-sanded-stained-glued-nailed what an undertaking. Hope your well, kinda worried when you weren't posting.

quote:

Originally posted by txgolfpro:
I've just about finished my cellar, come to find out; if want to rack 1400 bottles it takes 2800 12" pieces of stock, cut-sanded-stained-glued-nailed what an undertaking. Hope your well, kinda worried when you weren't posting.

Oh my, that sounds like too much work to me. I did not know you were such a handyman. I'm guessing it took time away from your golf game.

Let's hook-up again very soon.

quote:

Originally posted by wineismylife:
This doesn't happen very often:

There are currently 1 member(s) and 180 guest(s) on the forums.
wineismylife

hmmm...who was the member?

Not really too unlikely at 5:50 am is it?

And what were you doing up at 3:50am Texas time, wiml?

K-

I was the 1 member. I was up at 3:50AM Texas time because the dog thought out of the clear blue it was party time. Grrrr....

"It's easy to grin, when your ship comes in, and you've got the stock market beat; but the man worthwhile, is the man who can smile, when his shorts are too tight in the seat."

"Fore!"
"I should've yelled 'Two'!"

Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too.

Nothing says Bravery and self sacrifice like a bucket of ice water on a hot summer day.

its been a while-- hope everyone is doing well!

Have I mentioned I'm not a fan of most things?

How to smooth a Ho wood handle?
So many entry points here.

quote:

Originally posted by snipes:
How to smooth a Ho wood handle?
So many entry points here.

"Wa" you say?

No Fly Zone

quote:

Originally posted by DoktaP:

quote:

Originally posted by snipes:
How to smooth a Ho wood handle?
So many entry points here.

"Wa" you say?

G-Man can't shift

They're real; and they're spectacular

quote:

Originally posted by snipes:

quote:

Originally posted by DoktaP:

quote:

Originally posted by snipes:
How to smooth a Ho wood handle?
So many entry points here.

"Wa" you say?

I knew you'd get it? No activity for me on that board recently. Looking for a Tsourkan one day.

I have ignored this post for quite awhile. Wait...

Is oral sex bad for your teeth?

No. She had the whitest teeth I'd ever come across.

Candy is dandy but sex won't rot your teeth!

Candy maybe dandy but liquor is quicker.

quote:

Originally posted by VinT:
No. She had the whitest teeth I'd ever "come" across.

Fixed

whiskey makes you frisky

quote:

Originally posted by winetarelli:
They're real; and they're spectacular

"They most certainly are." - Stan Laurel

"Lyle Lovatt walks off stage if he smells that s$!t."

For the record, this defendant has come to court, drunk.

I just got sent two of the worst jokes ever.

- A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

-Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

mm october 1st seemed to have passed me by.

Just watched Bugs Bunny "Hillbilly Hare", and it was hilarious. Go for it.

Coke Badger

Eating a fresh fig is like eating...um, well, never mind.

quote:

Originally posted by Rob_Sutherland:
Coke Badger

Nothing good can come from this...whatever it is.

Is feeling a bit surly tonight.

"I don't believe jail is the right environment for me. I need to be out, to experience my own mistakes."

I cannot make this stuff up.

'A meal without wine is called breakfast'

I'm breaking the internet.

I'd like to hear some f#^kin' Dixieland.

morning already?

i have earned multiple discounts at local wine shops after showing them video of me using port tongs. I am thinking if this would work with other hobbies as well.

Oh, I didn't know. That's what the ruckus was. The screaming, the mike... Yours is a very strange religion. You'll grow tired of it.

I was the wine buyer for our company's Christmas party this year. This year "Yellowtale For All!" will not be proclaimed from upon high.

Alright, that does it. Screw you guys - I'm going home.

It's 4:19am and I'm still in the office. Hooray for lazy ass, didn't take home dry cleaning! At least I'll have a new shirt in a few hours...

quote:

Originally posted by Rob_Sutherland:
It's 4:19am and I'm still in the office. Hooray for lazy ass, didn't take home dry cleaning! At least I'll have a new shirt in a few hours...

It is only 3:27 AM for me.

quote:

Originally posted by wine+art:

quote:

Originally posted by Rob_Sutherland:
It's 4:19am and I'm still in the office. Hooray for lazy ass, didn't take home dry cleaning! At least I'll have a new shirt in a few hours...

It is only 3:27 AM for me.

But are you gonna kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight? Or go home and sleep?

its cold here

quote:

Originally posted by Rob_Sutherland:

quote:

Originally posted by wine+art:

quote:

Originally posted by Rob_Sutherland:
It's 4:19am and I'm still in the office. Hooray for lazy ass, didn't take home dry cleaning! At least I'll have a new shirt in a few hours...

It is only 3:27 AM for me.

But are you gonna kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight? Or go home and sleep?

Just trying to finish up so I can get back home a day early.