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old guy dies and goes to heaven, widow meets him in heaven a few years later. Sees him arm-in-arm with two angels in heaven, making out and having a great time.

Widow runs up to him and yells "Charlie,Charlie, it's me, Martha, so wonderful that we can be together again!"

Charlie says "Hi, great to see you again Martha, but I have to tell you something: the wedding vows said 'Till death do us part'. I fulfilled my terms of the deal we made, now I'm on my own"
A guy and a dog walk into a bar. The guy is bragging to everyone that his dog can talk . The bartender calls him over and says, "So your dog can talk, huh?"

The guy says yes. Then the bartendersays, "So, if I gave your dog a dollar he would go out and buy me a newspaper?" The guy says yes, gives the dog a dollar and sends him out.

Three hours later the dog hasn't come back yet, so the owner and the bartender go looking for him. A block from ther bar, they look down an alley and see the dog humping a female dog. The guy yells, "Wow, I've never seen you do that before!"

The dog says, "Well I've never had money before."
The disparity between the Yankees and the rest of the baseball bourgeois has shrunk; there is not much difference among them, the Red Sox and the Phillies. The gap between the elite and the rest is staggering, and so even as the Yankees compete in a division with loaded Red Sox and Rays teams and on-the-come Orioles and Blue Jays units, they may not always reign supreme, but they’ll remain beastly nonetheless.
Originally posted by Impulse:
Originally posted by winederlust:
There once was a lady named Doris...

My boxer's name is Doris. I also happen to have a neighbour that goes by the same name... coincidence?

Yeah, 2, 2 coffees, that's perfect for this cold, dim, fluorescent morning...

...and a couple of those donuts over there, right Doris?

Right, Doris?

Earth to Doris, earth to Doris, come in Doris...

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