Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
quote:Originally posted by MassMess:
...exactly half of your post count.
Wow - and almost all of them on this thread!
A fact I must, regretfully, ignore
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother’s womb.
quote:Originally posted by Red guy in a blue state:
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother’s womb.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the dentist because they have no teeth.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck No.
Chuck Yes.
Chuck RisSir.
HEY! HEY! HEY!
BIG NEWS TO BE IGNORED!
I AM NOW AT 2.000 POSTS!!!
HEY! HEY! HEY!
BIG NEWS TO BE IGNORED!
I AM NOW AT 2.000 POSTS!!!
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris doesn't drink wine.
When wine is brought to his lips, alcohool gets back into sugar and tannins and antocians into grape skins.
Jesus Christ is training hard, since his Cana's number has been outsmarted, and is no longer requested at weddings parties.
Put a pair of skates on Chuck Norris and stick him on the ice...then we'll see how tough he is!
Even a sissy figure skater would B!tch-Slap him!
Chuck Norris is a wienie!
Even a sissy figure skater would B!tch-Slap him!
Chuck Norris is a wienie!
Writing.
Producing.
Selling.
neither
chuck
chuck
nor
ris
ris
are
anything
more
than
food
products
in
multilingual
Canada
anything
more
than
food
products
in
multilingual
Canada
I ignored Swiss Merlot
until
I got to consciously ignore it.
Speaking of Swiss, is the moon really?
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.quote:Originally posted by MassMess:
wHO IS cHUCK nORRIS?
Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn't kill women.
Chuck Norris trägt keine Uhr, er bestimmt wie spät es ist.
quote:Originally posted by Red guy in a blue state:
Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn't kill women.
ROFL!
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn’t take sh!t from anybody.
Gotta get a few of these...just in case. Don't want to get sued.
http://www.break.com/pictures/chucks-landing448327.html
http://www.break.com/pictures/chucks-landing448327.html
Some people are like a Slinky...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a night light because he's afraid of the dark the dark uses a night light because it's afraid of Chuck Norris.
Two weeks!!!! 
Notice.
Not ice.