Okay, I'm a tripod.
Mrs. FTG already thinks I talk about wine too much, so she cannot understand what would posses me to spend yet more wine time here. Still, if it reduces the time she actually has to listen to it, she's all for my posting here!
Two old ladies at a nursing home are talking over lunch. One whispers, "Marge, do you ever think about sex anymore?"
Marge answers, "Sure, I do."
Woman asks, "What do you do when the urge strikes?"
Marge says, "Oh, I suck on a Life Saver."
Woman says, "Well who do you get to drive you to the beach?"