Consider this thread an equal opportunity posting.
Still a male last time I checked. So I'm coming out. Anyone else [Razz] care to join me?

[ 04-05-2002, 07:46 AM: Message edited by: King of Hearts ]
Original Post
Equal Opportunity Interloper here.

So which is it, guys - shoes or bags? Or both?

[ 04-05-2002, 09:30 AM: Message edited by: Queen Of Hearts ]
lady frankie has yet to make any such distinction in purchasing between shoes and bags, preferring to let me purchase vino while she garners the other 2. still fail to see how her purchases help me in the same way my purchases assist her eonological pursuits!

Your more then welcome. From my single days - the number one question asked by men at a party, "when are the chicks getting here". It's no fun without you!


[ 04-05-2002, 10:15 AM: Message edited by: The Claret Kid ]
I don't know why the Ladies would want to come in here. I stinks like old sweatsocks, beans and onion breath. Oh yeah, and who left that pizza box on the floor?

Ahhhhh, it reminds me of my bachelor days.


[ 04-05-2002, 10:46 AM: Message edited by: Vino Me ]
I am so worried about the women out their trying to hit on me that I only have 200+ postings....oh wait, I guess I am over it now [Wink] [Big Grin] OK guys, how often do you buy new golf clubs?
Your so right King. As my wife points out to me often, I might be the man of the house but I would never know which ones to put on without her. [Big Grin]

It's kinda like when there was smoking allowed on planes in the back rows.

Didn't smoke, but sat back there because it was a whole lotta 'mo fun.

Okay, who left the seat up. Oh, that's right this is a guys thread. Never mind. That's acceptable behavior in the UNCORKA LOTTA VINO frat house.

Don't forget...dishes, cups, and cutlery stacked up in sink; Some left-overs in the fridge that have sprouted full heads of hair (not to mention the Box-o-Wine that's been in there, left over from that party 8 months ago); Something smells rotten...but from where?; When in the bathroom, don't look too closely, it's a mess; And, where the hell is the remote?

When do I buy new golf clubs? ...when the wife lets me! Just kidding! Just bought a new set of irons last year, had my last set for 10 years.

OK, isn't this where somebody initiates a contest to see who can crush a beer can the flatest against their forehead.
Is it ladies night tonight??? Comon gals!!

smaug - do you hang your jocks from your wine bottles in the cellar?? Now I know where the descriptions come for describing "corked." [Big Grin]

And if you did not leave the seat up, leave piles everywhere, leave leftovers growing new bacteria, and dishes piled in the sink - what on earth would we have to #itch about, besides the price of our wine??!! (and shoes and purses in some cases)...

KOH - you love to stir up trouble, don't you??!! [Cool]
Of course I do! Provides natural humidity to keep my corks from drying out! [Razz]

Actually, they would NEVER dry there. I hang them on the lamps in the living room and the chandelier in the dining room. Sheesh. [Big Grin]
Well, my moniker gives away my XY chromosomal arrangement, but it reminds me of a bad joke that I'll share with y'all:

Q: Do you know what moth balls smell like?
A: Yeah, of course.
Q: Geez. How'd you get their little legs apart?
Well it is a mens thread [Wink]
It's nice to see you boys can find something other than golf to talk about.
CabChick - close your eyes, your in a locker room !!!
Well, ok, you can peek between your fingers [Wink]
Size does matter [Big Grin] !!
Aaah. Since it's a guys thread and the women won't be lurking, I ran across this not too long ago.

"Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache."

Msvos has a similar one about men, but I wasn't about to go to the women's thread where I wasn't wanted....
A question for the guys (KoH and ATeam are excluded since their significant others already participate):

Has your wife/girlfriend expressed an interest in participating in this forum? If so, what was your response?

While I was winding up my April Fools joke the other night, the Lady Vino Me told me she would like to post a message and say hello. I put my foot down and told her to make me some flapjacks as long as there was no shoveling to do (I can say that since this is a guys thread).

VM- So, that's how it works in your neck of the woods... My SO is telling me (*right now*) that it's time to GO!! So, I go!

I'll explain later...

dame frankie has expressed not the slightest hint of desire in expounding her viewpoints on this forum (or any other). she has yet to review the site to see my magnificent knowledge imparted to others [Big Grin]

perhaps when i wean her from the franzia and onto greater grapes she'll feel different!!
Hey, does any other member of this board enjoy working with the power tools on the weekend? If so, which wine do you find works best to wash down the sawdust?

My cellar competes for space with my workshop.

The only thing my wife does on the computer is log-in a bridge site and play.

Do I use power tools at home, Ha! Had a lake cottage for years and did all that wood-working crap. At home if the wife wants something done, I tell her to hire a Pro!

Golf Joke...
These two guys are on the sixth tee box, the hole runs parallel to a city street.
The first guy tees up his ball, and drills his drive right down the middle.
The second guy tees up his ball, and just as he addresses the ball he notices a funeral percession driving by, so he stops, takes off his hat, and stands at attention as the percession of vehicles passes and proceed down the street and out of sight.
He then addresses his ball and drives it right down the middle.
The first guy says to the second "gee that was awfully considerate of you to stop and show your respects for the deceased."
Second guy says "well that's the least I could do, I was married to her for 25 years."

My wife says no way do I want a part of that forum.
And, I say no way can you have a part of that forum.

That's how it works here in VA.

Hey, we have a guys movie cinemathon at a friend's once a year. Beer and burgs. Only guys and guy movies. Predator. Terminator. Rambo. Bond. Rocky. Starring Stallone. Connery. Schwarznegger. Van Damme. No chick flicks. No whiny crying.


[ 04-05-2002, 09:50 PM: Message edited by: dr.tannin aka x-man ]
I resisted crashing the girls' party, but had fun spying thru the window. I wondered when someone would start this one.
I invited Wife to add some comments, but she wanted no part of it.

Speaking of bags--
Q: What's the difference between beer nuts & deer nuts?
A: Beer nuts are $1.50, deer nuts are just under a buck.

Speaking of shoes--
Little Blobby: Dad, will you put my shoes on?
Dad: I don't think they'll fit me.

What are you listening to tonight?...

She's got the face that shows what she knows
She's heard every line
Tenderly she talks on the phone
There's a way to walk that says "Stay away"
And a time to go 'round the long way
A girl in trouble is a temporary thing...
(Romeo Void)
Okay, I'm a tripod.

Mrs. FTG already thinks I talk about wine too much, so she cannot understand what would posses me to spend yet more wine time here. Still, if it reduces the time she actually has to listen to it, she's all for my posting here! [Big Grin]

Two old ladies at a nursing home are talking over lunch. One whispers, "Marge, do you ever think about sex anymore?"

Marge answers, "Sure, I do."

Woman asks, "What do you do when the urge strikes?"

Marge says, "Oh, I suck on a Life Saver."

Woman says, "Well who do you get to drive you to the beach?" [Cool]
Gosh it's good to be in pants again. Thanks King.

Mishy....I like your quick wit...You're funny, smart and can take a punch. You're welcome in the locker.

Now as for women:

1) They are like a sore *****....they're hard to beat. [Big Grin]

2) The worst I ever heard was on a radio show in Atlanta anchored by "The Greaseman". He said "Women are like dog turds.....The older they get the easier they are to pick up." [Razz] Pretty Bad...Serious regress I know. And just kidding.

Hey you guys who knocked my BONG over. It stinks in here. [Embarrassed]


KING this ought to get the posts flying. I'm out of here before Lady Toe catches me.

[ 04-06-2002, 09:50 AM: Message edited by: toetag ]
Ah - how ugly the truth can be! Somehow I had a hard time conjuring up the image of a bunch of Niles Crane-ish types sitting around in tweed discussing the merits of negociants. Tell me 6/15 isn't going be like this??? [Big Grin]

CabChic - C'mon, everyone knows guys go commando unless we go out; I for one can't (or won't [Big Grin] )explain the 'corked' bottles. Besides, why hang our jocks in the cellar when they are perfectly comfortable under the bed! [Wink]

[ 04-06-2002, 10:47 AM: Message edited by: kybo ]
Let me put down my cammo reidel.

Q: Why are women's feet shorter than men's?
A: So they can stand closer to the sink.

Kybo....No kiddin. He was sick.

Did you know...He started in Jacksonville WAPE Radio. Then to Washington. He was run out of town for what he said about Martin Luther King holiday and "If we kill another 6 do we get a week off ?" Really sick. Then to Atlanta and that's where I've lost him.

Uncle Greasey and his side kick here was Hoyle Dempsey. Right out of "Deliverance".

Greaseman Mineeli...Hadn't heard that one in a long time.


[ 04-06-2002, 11:21 AM: Message edited by: toetag ]

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