I'm tired of natural wine. I started off liking it, because I'm quirky and its quirky. It was neat, it was fun. It was really, really, easy to slam into my gob and get fuckin hammed. It also lead to some nasty poops, and many a hangovers. It was poured into many red solo cups, it was chugged from many bottles, but heres the thing: it's all the same shit.
I come from British Columbia. We have a lot of Karen's. They love their wine clubs. They spend hundreds per year to slam some sugar juice. They also live in pretty homes overlooking vineyards in kelowna and yell about asian tourists creating traffic jams. They're a delight. They LOVE BC. BC can do no wrong (looking at you burrowing owl, you shit tier over priced vino)
We also have a lot of hipsters. Vancouver. Were Canadian Portland I guess. Idk. I dont go to murica cuz it scary. Hipsters love their "natty". They love "glou-glou"
I am tired of it, I am tired of over priced wines that are quite literally fuckin boiled in fermentation tanks with a big chungus of Lees that the winemaker stares at, pondering if it's worth removing only to decide to go home and drink some pabst blue while smoking a fat doink listening to Sam smith, telling his friends hes a wine maker when in reality daddy fuckin handed him half a field of plants and said have fun.
Is it so much to ask for a wine that isnt full of faults/brettanomyces? Is it so much to ask for a aromatic varietal to have some aroma, not taste like drywall? I want say names but a winemaker here LITERALLY ADMITTED to the fact that ferm temps got way too hot on his riesling so he cooled that shit down and turned it into a "pet-nat" (fuck that term btw, except for in cider) or how about the other winery that a riesling and said HEY LETS DO SKIN CONTACT and made the most bland ugly looking riesling of my life. Like yayyy you made some brettanomyces!!!! Fuck clarification too right? No no slap that shit onto a patio with some su light behind, take a pic and boom! You have a aesthetically pleasing looking product that you can know sell for 40 dollars a bottle!!!!
I genuinely want to try a natural wine that isnt full of mousse/brett. I want something that's clarified and isnt as chunky as my pulp orange juice in the morning. Is this a common trend or does BC just have a bunch of lazy winemakers that think faults are "unique characteristics"