Hi Good Peoples,

It has often been said there are lies, damn lies and statistics and truer words have never been spoken. To illustrate this point just have a look at the lying statistics on this board. It shows that I have only posted 986 posts, but it’s completely wrong.

Being a bit of a detail person, I have personally kept a count of every post I have made of this forum in all its incarnations, since I first joined late in the last centaury. That is how I absolutely know without any fear of contradiction that this is my 3,000 post. I would also like to state that there is no truth in the rumour that the Sri Lankan Government has proposed that I should become the official record keeper for their touring cricket team. There is also no truth to the rumour that the Australian has no objection, as even with my unique counting ability, as it will still not save the Sri Lanka Cricket Team from getting their asses whopped.

So, how best to celebrate such a propitious and monumental milestone. After thinking long and hard about it, 42 minutes and 15.79 seconds exactly, I came up with the perfect proposition. An announcement!

No I am not pregnant despite the increase in weight; pity as I could earn a killing.

In September I spent nine days, four hours, twenty nine minutes and seventy five seconds touring McLaren Vale and the Barossa, tasting a ship load of good wine as well as some ship wines. I made a few tasting notes, well more than a few; 326 of them to be exact. When I got home, I started writing them up in a Tour Diary format which has been posted on TORBWine in weekly segments and tomorrow, the Eight and final Chapter goes live.

It was a “bit” of work; well 209 pages to be exact or if you want to be pedantic about it, 79,142 words, and if anyone wants to read and count every one of them and prove me wrong, go right ahead. The whole thing is free and contains no advertising. It should also be mandatory reading for all those who think that all Oz wine tastes like MD.

So to celebrate my 3,000 post here, I am letting you guys be the first to see the whole story. Here is the link to Chapter 1 and each Chapter links to the next. Happy reading. (If you have read the previous Seven Chapters and wish to see an advance look at Chapter Eight, click here.)
Original Post
Originally posted by Mezzo Litro:
Oh yeah? What was your 1,437th post? You have 1 minute and 15 seconds to respond.

Sorry Mezzo, I was taking 40 winks - notice that is spelt with an "i" not an "a" so it took 1 hour and 18 minutes to respond.

In answer to your question, it was this post which was made on September 21 1999

"Hi Rich, Thank you for inquiring about my well being. I am fine thank you, and completely sober (there is a first time for everything) but after all it is only 7.20 a.m. What's more was I was sober when I wrote the above post last night.

I was reading a book called "More Wit" (as distinct from "Half Wit") and there were some funny (well to me at least) quotes relating to life in general, computers and alcohol. It may surprise you to know that most of the members of this forum are actually involved in these three pursuits to some extent or another, and what’s more, some actually do have a sense of humor (I hope!)

I was obviously under the misguided apprehension that a little light entertainment might bring a chuckle to some people and put a smile on their dial. In light of your question I did not succeed in your case, and for that I can but humbly apologise for wasting your time and causing your concern and distress. However it is gratifying to know that people out there like you care about others and for that I sincerely thank you. Rich, it’s just a pity you don’t have a bloody sense of humor mate!"
Originally posted by dbw4:
8 Chapters?

Sounds like the "Harry Potter" series for wine.

How long would it take to read, if I can read 988 posts per hour?


Harry Potter has nothing on the Pie King, whose antics are far more magical and harder to explain.

How long to read it all, well that depends if you have to move your finger over the text and use your lips at the same time, or not. Razz
Well done TORB! Cool Cool Cool Needless to say, with my love of big chewy Oz reds, you are one of my favourite posters. And yes, I've often used your website for advice.

When I win the lottery, I intend to travel to Oz to drink myself silly, offline with you all (notwithstanding the fact that you all seem to be in different places) and with any luck, tag along on one of your winery-visiting trips.

Go stand in the corner you have not been doing your homework Eek and obviously haven't read a Tour Diary for a long time. Frown

No flat tyres or crappy rentals for years. The coffee is improving as the Pie King has bought a good home machine, but don't get me started on those damn meat pois; some things never change. Wink

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