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I've had a hell of a time getting started making this stuff. I ran into some problems.

I went to the store and bought the ingredients I needed. The stupid cashier couldn't weigh the habenero peppers since they were so light in weight, so I had to wait until her manager got there to fix the problem

At most grocery stores, you can't buy a single can of beer. So I went to a gas station to buy the beer. I haven't felt so ghetto in a while. Nobody buys just one can of beer except "those other people."

The only thing I needed to start cooking this wonderful chili was a pot.

So I left the groceries in the car as I went to Foley's to get a stockpot/chili pot. Cephalon was having a sale on single items. They didn't have the 5 quart pots in stock. They didn't single sell 12 quart pots or anything close to that size. All of the other brands were crap or the other Cephalon stockpots were like regularly priced at $120. So I found a floor model 8 quart pot. After waiting in line for 20 minutes behind an Asian family who was applying for a Foley's credit card to save as stupid 20% on THREE sets of cookware(what does a family of five need three sets of 16 piece cookware for anyways), they were declined for whatever reason. The cashier freed up and I asked her if she could sell me the floor model. Instead of asking her supervisor if she could sell the floor model (which was not part of a set), she was lazy and told me she can't sell it because there is no barcode. I knew at that point that I wasn't going to be able to make this chili if I didn't have a pot. So I demanded to speak to the manager. It took like 10 minutes for the manager to get to that department. After another 10 minutes of explaining to the manager the situation, he didn't know a darn thing about pots and just decided to sell me this 8 quart Cephalon stockpot for 39.99 to shut me up and send me away without causing a scene. I was quite happy with this...but it took almost 45 minutes to buy a damn pot.

Finally I got home and everything is now in the pot simmering away. The chili smells so good and after all the trouble, it was worth it.

After all of this, I am starting to wonder if someone in the high skies is trying to tell me that maybe I shouldn't cook.
I made the chili that was in the past months WS mag. However, I changed a few things.

Instead of using an 8oz can of tomato sauce, I used a 28oz can of Rienze whole plum tomatoes in a thick puree. I put it in the blender for 3 seconds to 'chop' the tomatoes. I added 3 cans of beans (drained)... dark red kidney, black and garbanzo. And since no one in my family likes 'spicy', I used 5 sweet and 2 jalapeño (instead of the hot ones).

It came out tasty... just not killer. I wish it had more tomato flavor (I’ll add some tomato past next time), and it needs some spicy chilies.

By the way... what is the consistency of chili supposed to be? I was thinking a "beef stew" like... which is what mine was (in between soup and thick chili). However, my family was expecting a thick chili (like what you would get w/ ground beef and thick tomato sauce).
quote:
Originally posted by Sapril Nguyen:
1 tbsp of WHITE sugar



That'll do it. A Tablespoon is 3x the size of a teaspoon, and white sugar doesn't have the savoury characteristcs of brown. Also, since the granules are finer, then you're getting even more by weight.

Try a teaspoon of packed brown sugar next time and see how things turn out.
If you can read this whole story without laughing, there’s no hope
for you.

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to
the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.

For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.
They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween
comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San
Antonio City Park. Judge 3 was an inexperienced Chili taster
named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, Illinois.



Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili
cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment
and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking for
directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in.

I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili
wouldn’t be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could
have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.”



Here are the scorecard notes from the event:



CHILI #1 – Mike’s Maniac Monster Chili
Judge #1 – A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge #2 – Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge #3 (Frank) – Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway.
took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst
one. These Texans are crazy.


CHILI #2 – Austin’s Afterburner Chili
Judge #1 – Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge #2 – Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.

Judge #3 – Keep this out of the reach of children. I’m not sure what
I’m supposed to taste besides pain.
I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich
maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my
face.


CHILI #3 – Fred’s Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
Judge #1 – Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge #2 – A bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge #3 – Call the EPA. I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels
like I have been snorting Drano.
Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite.
Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part
of my chest. I’m getting ****-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI #4 – Bubba’s Black Magic
Judge #1 – Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge #2 – Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish
or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge #3 – I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable
to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds?
Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That
300-lb. woman is starting to look HOT –just like this nuclear waste
I’m eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?


CHILI #5 – Lisa’s Legal Lip Remover
Judge #1 – Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,
adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge #2 – Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must
admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge #3 – My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I
can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me
needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her
that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from
bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if
I’m burning my lips off.
It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop
screaming.



CHILI #6 – Vera’s Very Vegetarian Variety
Judge #1 – Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
spices and peppers.
Judge #2 – The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and
garlic. Superb.


Judge #3 – My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous
sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted and I’m worried it
will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me
except that Sally. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my
behind with a snow cone.



CHILI #7 – Susan’s Screaming Sensation Chili
Judge #1 – A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge #2 – Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment.
**I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to
be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge #3 – You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world
sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with
chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava
to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what
killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing, it’s too painful.
Forget it; I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll
just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.


CHILI #8 – Big Tom’s Toenail Curling Chili
Judge #1 – The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too
bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge #2 – This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild
nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted,
passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of
himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it poor feller, wonder
how he’d have reacted to really hot chili?



Judge #3 – No report.
I came up with a good batch of chili a couple weeks ago rather by accident. (I rarely make it the same way twice, and last time, my daughter told me not to go near the peanut butter. Big Grin)

I had bought some hamburger at my local butcher that had ground bacon incorporated into it. My thought was to grill some bacon-burgers with it, but we had some heavy rain that weekend. So instead, it went into the chili pot along with the usual suspects and a handful of cilantro. Dang if that wasn't tasty! Smile
quote:
Originally posted by wineismylife:
Still a little early for us PH. It was in the high 80s here today! Eek Hopefully another cold front will blow through soon and I can break out the old meat grinder. Cool


Sorry, wiml. Forgot about you guys down there! Razz 40's the last few nights up here, with cooler weather right around the corner. Perfect!

Pulled this recipe from Epicurious today on a whim. Made it with no alterations, and it was truly delicious. A keeper. Especially the beans!!! Razz Wink

BEEF AND BEAN CHILI

1 tablespoon olive oil
2 large red onions, chopped
5 tablespoons chopped jalapeño chilies with seeds
8 garlic cloves, chopped
2 1/3 pounds ground beef (15% fat)
1/4 cup chili powder
2 tablespoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon sweet paprika
1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes in juice
2 15 1/4-ounce cans kidney beans, drained
1 14-ounce can beef broth

Sour cream
Grated cheddar cheese
Chopped green onions
Chopped fresh cilantro

Heat oil in heavy large pot over medium-high heat. Add onions; sauté until brown, about 6 minutes. Add jalapeños and garlic; sauté 1 minute. Add beef; sauté until brown, breaking up with back of fork, about 5 minutes. Add chili powder, cumin, and paprika, then mix in tomatoes with juices, beans, and broth; bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer until chili thickens and flavors blend, stirring occasionally, about 45 minutes. Skim any fat from surface of chili. (Can be made 2 days ahead. Cool slightly. Refrigerate uncovered until cold, then cover and keep refrigerated. Bring to simmer before continuing, stirring occasionally.)

Ladle chili into bowls. Serve, passing bowls of sour cream, grated cheese, green onions, and cilantro separately.

Bon Appétit - September 2002

PH
Last edited by purplehaze
quote:
Originally posted by PurpleHaze:
quote:
Originally posted by wineismylife:
Still a little early for us PH. It was in the high 80s here today! Eek Hopefully another cold front will blow through soon and I can break out the old meat grinder. Cool


Sorry, wiml. Forgot about you guys down there! Razz 40's the last few nights up here, with cooler weather right around the corner. Perfect!

Pulled this recipe from Epicurious today on a whim. Made it with no alterations, and it was truly delicious. A keeper. Especially the beans!!! Razz Wink

BEEF AND BEAN CHILI

1 tablespoon olive oil
2 large red onions, chopped
5 tablespoons chopped jalapeño chilies with seeds
8 garlic cloves, chopped
2 1/3 pounds ground beef (15% fat)
1/4 cup chili powder
2 tablespoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon sweet paprika
1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes in juice
2 15 1/4-ounce cans kidney beans, drained
1 14-ounce can beef broth

Sour cream
Grated cheddar cheese
Chopped green onions
Chopped fresh cilantro

Heat oil in heavy large pot over medium-high heat. Add onions; sauté until brown, about 6 minutes. Add jalapeños and garlic; sauté 1 minute. Add beef; sauté until brown, breaking up with back of fork, about 5 minutes. Add chili powder, cumin, and paprika, then mix in tomatoes with juices, beans, and broth; bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer until chili thickens and flavors blend, stirring occasionally, about 45 minutes. Skim any fat from surface of chili. (Can be made 2 days ahead. Cool slightly. Refrigerate uncovered until cold, then cover and keep refrigerated. Bring to simmer before continuing, stirring occasionally.)

Ladle chili into bowls. Serve, passing bowls of sour cream, grated cheese, green onions, and cilantro separately.

Bon Appétit - September 2002

PH



Off from work today were we? Razz Wink

w+a
I love a good bowl of chili - no beans, though! Still, being an original Cincy girl, I often fall back on the good ol' Cincinnati chili - add some finely grated cheddar cheese to the top of that bowl!! Big Grin And if you're REAL Cincy, top a plate of boxed spaghetti with the chili and cheese!! Then there's always the "coney!!"....... Wink
Betcha THAT'S not in Cooking Light!! Big Grin
I have to keep my Chilli mild, as Lady K tends to explode if it's too hot. Had two so far this week. This varies from day to day and it's normally off-the-cuff (who wants to keep making exactly the same thing?) but last night, for two:

1/2 lb Minced Scotch steak
1/4 lb Mushrooms
1 medium onion
Big splash of EVV Olive Oil
1 small tin kidney beans
1 medium tin chopped plum tomatoes
2 cloves garlic
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
Clump of fresh oregano
Pinch sea salt
1 teaspoon sugar
Dash Worcester Sauce (because it was there)
Fresh coarse ground black pepper
Chilli powder to taste

Rice:

Cup of Basmati Rice
Half teaspoon turmeric
Pinch of salt
Pinch of Saffron

Remember to stir regularly: Heat the oil, chop up the garlic and throw it in. Chop the onion, do likewise. Fry until starting to brown, throw in the sugar and caramelise. Slice mushrooms, bung them in. Throw in the mince. Throw in the beans. Sprinkle the paprika, some pepper, salt and some chilli powder. Throw in the tin of tomatoes (open it first). Heat and stir until it looks right, then throw in the oregano, chopped. Add chilli powder to desired level then keep it simmering and start on the rice.

Rice - One cup rice (wash rice six times), two cups cold water, dash of salt, turmeric for colour and flavour and add some saffron to be poncey. Heat for ten minutes, stir and recover for a few minutes then put some butter on top.

Serve.

Throw some grated emmental on top and remember that your wife will explode in approximately three minutes.
everyone else here is too young to remember the Cuban missile crisis. But, in the debate at the UN, the American ambassador (Adlai Stevenson) accused the Russians of engaging in Shenanigans.
They had to take about a 30 minute recess so the translator could figure out how to translate Shenanigans for the Russian ambassador.
The translation came back as something like "Sneaky Irish trickster activity".
The Irish ambassador walked out.
Anyway, thanks KillerB for the translation.
It is sometimes said that you Brits and we Yanks are a common people, separated by a common language.
I wasn't having a really good day. I found this recipe in a bunch of stuff getting thrown away. I think it's from an old Cooking Light magazine. I gave it a shot. I didn't mess with; made it strait as written. It came out great. With cornbread, it fed 2 adults and 2 kids.

Chipotle Corn and Two-Bean Chili
1 pound ground round
1 teaspoon canola oil
1 1/2 cups chopped onion
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 tablespoon ground cumin
2 teaspoons minced fresh oregano
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups frozen whole-kernel corn
2 (14.5-ounce) cans no salt-added diced tomatoes, undrained
1 cup coarsely chopped zucchini
1 cup water
1 tablespoon finely chopped canned chipotle chile in adobo sauce
1 (15-ounce) can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 (15-ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained
6 tablespoons fat-free sour cream
6 tablespoons thinly sliced green onions
6 tablespoons (about 1 1/2 ounces) shredded reduced-fat sharp cheddar cheese

Cook beef in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat until lightly browned; stir to crumble. Drain well; set aside.
Add canola oil to pan. Heat pan over medium-high heat. Add chopped onion to pan; sauté 4 minutes or until tender. Add garlic; sauté 30 seconds. Add chili powder, cumin, oregano, and salt; sauté 30 seconds. Stir in corn and tomatoes; bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer 3 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Stir in beef, zucchini, water, chipotle chile, and beans; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 10 minutes or until zucchini is tender.

Spoon 1 1/2 cups chili into each of 6 bowls. Top each serving with 1 tablespoon sour cream, 1 tablespoon green onions, and 1 tablespoon cheese.
quote:
Originally posted by WiseGuy:
I wasn't having a really good day. I found this recipe in a bunch of stuff getting thrown away. I think it's from an old Cooking Light magazine. I gave it a shot. I didn't mess with; made it strait as written. It came out great. With cornbread, it fed 2 adults and 2 kids.

Chipotle Corn and Two-Bean Chili
1 pound ground round
1 teaspoon canola oil
1 1/2 cups chopped onion
2 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 tablespoon ground cumin
2 teaspoons minced fresh oregano
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups frozen whole-kernel corn
2 (14.5-ounce) cans no salt-added diced tomatoes, undrained
1 cup coarsely chopped zucchini
1 cup water
1 tablespoon finely chopped canned chipotle chile in adobo sauce
1 (15-ounce) can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 (15-ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained
6 tablespoons fat-free sour cream
6 tablespoons thinly sliced green onions
6 tablespoons (about 1 1/2 ounces) shredded reduced-fat sharp cheddar cheese

Cook beef in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat until lightly browned; stir to crumble. Drain well; set aside.
Add canola oil to pan. Heat pan over medium-high heat. Add chopped onion to pan; sauté 4 minutes or until tender. Add garlic; sauté 30 seconds. Add chili powder, cumin, oregano, and salt; sauté 30 seconds. Stir in corn and tomatoes; bring to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer 3 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Stir in beef, zucchini, water, chipotle chile, and beans; bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat, and simmer 10 minutes or until zucchini is tender.

Spoon 1 1/2 cups chili into each of 6 bowls. Top each serving with 1 tablespoon sour cream, 1 tablespoon green onions, and 1 tablespoon cheese.


Zucchini? Confused I question your masculinity. Big Grin

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