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Reply to "Say Something Completely Random And Off Topic"

I'm convinced. I'm going to write to the President and apply.
I have:
1) No experience in government;
2) No experience in this type of law;
3) Unwillingness to release my tax returns;
4) Authored numerous emails that will be embarrassing to the White House;
5) Willingness to go on expensive overseas trips for no real governmental reason at the taxpayer's expense.

I should be a perfect fit!
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