Think about this:
Sure you got dinged for duty since you were over your exemption. Also think about all the times customs agents DID waive extra bottles and how overall, you're way, way ahead of the game.
Have your receipts and expect to pay duty on everything you're over on. Regardless of whether you do or not, say thanks and have a nice day. Pissing off a customs officer is a surefire way to get pulled into secondary and makes that person more likely to pull people into secondary in the future. You're making it worse for everyone.
And finally ... the sex of the customs officer doesn't matter.
I always have my receipts and always expect to (at worst) pay full duties, but when customs agents at Pearson have expressly told me that their mandate is not tax collection but rather is enforcement of the rules relating to import and declarations (and this was when I was bringing back USD$5K worth of wine after being out of the country one night by myself, and he cut me a huge break) , I would hope that I won't be dinged like I was this time especially when the total dollar value of goods that we brought back after two weeks away was half of what we were legally entitled to bring back if we had only been gone for two days. Point was that discretion seems to exist at some crossings, for reasons explained by customs officers, but not at others. And that discretion has always been after I was referred to secondary. As for making it worse for everyone, nothing that I did, or have ever done when crossing the border, even suggested pissing off a customs officer, and despite being consistently polite and honest every time I cross I consistently get treated as if I'm doing something illegal by bringing back and honestly declaring more than two bottles when I can legally bring back 45 litres. They are unnecessarily dickish at least half the time I've crossed for no reason, and I certainly gave them zero reason this time to refer me to a quasi-search by customs officers after I paid duty. If anyone is making crossing difficult for everyone its the loudmouthed boneheads here who far-too-openly blah blah blah about manipulating receipts and mis-declaring bottles that have most certainly resulted in recently noted problems and scrutiny particularly at Lewiston.