Think about this:
Sure you got dinged for duty since you were over your exemption. Also think about all the times customs agents DID waive extra bottles and how overall, you're way, way ahead of the game.
Have your receipts and expect to pay duty on everything you're over on. Regardless of whether you do or not, say thanks and have a nice day. Pissing off a customs officer is a surefire way to get pulled into secondary and makes that person more likely to pull people into secondary in the future. You're making it worse for everyone.
And finally ... the sex of the customs officer doesn't matter.