Careful not to confuse sweet and fruity. They often coincide, but not always. Remember that you can't smell sweet. That illusion can carry through to the palate with some fully dry wines. So, like you said, with wines you find obnoxiously fruity that fruit will mellow with age. But, if the wine is also sweet, that sweetness won't go away. Also, if there's any raisinated character in with that fruitiness, it won't fade with age, so it'll become ever more relatively prominent.
A high degree of ripeness can make a wine seem overly fruity. But also, very clean winemaking practices can eliminate various things that can dull the fruit. Other interactions can produce more fruity character.
Generally, I'd say look for less ripe wines to try. Find critics/writers who like what you like, and avoid what James Laube and Robert Parker like.
You can search around for discussion threads for wines you might like, or you could ask specifically. If you point us to a wine store you can order from, we could suggest a few wines from their website. (K&L?)