There was Johnny McEldoo, and McGee, and me
And a couple two, or three, went on a spree one day.
We had a bob or two which we knew how to blew,
And the beer and whiskey flew and we all felt gay.
We visited McCann's, McLennnan's, Humpty Dan's,
We then went into Swan's our stomachs for to pack.
We ordered out to feed, which indeed we did need
And we finished it with speed and we still felt slack.
Johnny McEldoo turned blue as a jew;
And a plate of Irish stew he soon put out of sight.
He shouted out "Encore" with a roar for some more,
That he never felt before such a keen appetite.
He ordered eggs and ham, what a cram ;
But him we couldn't ram though we tried our level best.
For everything we brought, cold or hot,
It went down him like a shot, but he still stood the test.
He swallowed tripe and lard by the yard, we got scared
We thought it would go hard when the waiter brought charge.
He told him to give o'er, but he swore he could lower
Twice as much again, and more before he had his fill.
He nearly supped a trough full of broth, says McGarth,
"He'll devour the tablecloth if we don't haul him in."
When the waiter brought the bill, McEldoo felt so large,
He began to scowl and barge, and his blood went on fire!
He began to curse and swear, tear his hair in despair
And to finish the affair called the shop-man a liar.
Shop-man, he drew out, and no doubt he did clout
McEldoo, he kicked about like an old football.
He tattered all his clothes, broke his nose;
He'd have killed with a few blows in no time at all.
McEldoo began to howl and to growl, by me soul
He threw an empty bowl at the shopkeepers head!
It struck poor Mickey Flynn, peeled the skin off his chin.
And the ructions did begin, and we all fought and bled.
The peelers did arrive, man alive, four or five;
At us they made a drive for us all to march away.
We paid for all the mate that we ate, stood a trate,
And went home to ruminate on the spree that day.