You goto a local wine shop that's supposedly known for their champagne growers selection and you ask the sales rep for some champers help.

First the snarky "Oh, I buy all of the champagne for the store"

great.

"Can you get me a creamy champagne that's slightly on the sweeter side perhaps a bit more chard based as I find the pinots slightly sour"

first response is

"oh they all have been fermented dry so there will be no sugar"

..

So I follow up with "Something that's not as tart, sour but has a perceived richness and sweetness"

..

"well you can try the blanc de noirs"

Not knowing the names i figured why not even though they're pinot based. To which I get two recommendations and I pick up both.

Lo and behold, I open them up this xmas morning after a traditional hollandaise and poached eggs with lump crab breakfast, and these suckers are fizzy, sour and definitely does't hint at sweetness at all.

feels like everyone's calling themselves an expert nowadays.

oh and merry xmas all!

I told you to have some Pinot and everything will be fine !
Merry xmas

quote:

Originally posted by hippomon:
I told you to have some Pinot and everything will be fine !
Merry xmas

doesn't go with crab! ;-)

Too bad he was not able to set you up with a demi-sec or a softer blanc de blancs.

No one. It's Christmas, and I love everybody!

Our wine critic for the Star Tribune here.

Cramant de Loire

quote:

Originally posted by Board-O:
Cramant de Loire

It's "Cremant", but I agree...it is really lousy stuff.

My brother-in law... Knowing I have a cellar of over 1000 wines, he insists on buying me a bottle of Mondavi Woodbridge Merlot...in Magnum!

The people in charge of restaurant wine lists who won't state the vintages, especially the ones who make lots of spelling mistakes, and put wines in the wrong section, like putting Domaine Bois de Boursin in the "Pinot Noir" section.
Sometimes, it can work to my advantage, as there is a local restaurant that still has a nice high QPR 2006 Bierzo on the list. I figure it hasn't sold out, because it's not in the Spanish section, but in the "red blends" section.

quote:

Originally posted by Redhawk:
The people in charge of restaurant wine lists who won't state the vintages......

That's enough. Especially when you ask the server what vintage the wine is and they go to ask the ass-hat manager who put the lazy list together in the first place, and then she/he has to get off their ass to go to the overheated wine storage area to look, and then the server comes back to let you know that they don't have that wine in any vintage.

I'll have a beer please....

PH

quote:

Originally posted by Purple Teeth:
My brother-in law... Knowing I have a cellar of over 1000 wines, he insists on buying me a bottle of Mondavi Woodbridge Merlot...in Magnum!

A couple years ago, my sister-in-law presented me with a 1 ltr. bottle of Glühwein.

quote:

Originally posted by PurpleHaze:

quote:

Originally posted by Redhawk:
The people in charge of restaurant wine lists who won't state the vintages......

That's enough. Especially when you ask the server what vintage the wine is and they go to ask the ass-hat manager who put the lazy list together in the first place, and then she/he has to get off their ass to go to the overheated wine storage area to look, and then the server comes back to let you know that they don't have that wine in any vintage.

I'll have a beer please....

PH

Sounds like most Somms I know.

People who are arrogant.
Wait, that annoyance applies to every facet of life, not just wine.

People who come into a wine bar wearing heavy perfume.

quote:

Originally posted by mneeley490:

quote:

Originally posted by Purple Teeth:
My brother-in law... Knowing I have a cellar of over 1000 wines, he insists on buying me a bottle of Mondavi Woodbridge Merlot...in Magnum!

A couple years ago, my sister-in-law presented me with a 1 ltr. bottle of Glühwein.

My brother brought me a bottle of Mead. Well, it didn't really bother me, but it was odd.

Family members, who know I'm very much into wine, and who bring me a bottle the latest vintage of their local strawberry wine. If it were a gag gift, I would laugh right along. But no, they are serious. They really liked it when they tasted it at the "winery".

Cocky rich people who try to trump me their wine knowledge and call themselves "connoisseurs" by showing off their cellar and butchering the entire French language in the process.

"Say, y'ever heard of Chatty-Noof-Pops? I just had one of those. How about Mon-ta-gee wines? I had this Chardonnay the other day that was TERRIBLE! It didn't taste at all like oak chips with melted butter on them! It must have been the screwcap that changed the flavor."

Sommeliers or somm want-to-be that choose their words poorly.

I hate it when I'm asked do you need my help with the wine list?

How about, let me know if I can answer any questions.

Also, what is the deal with wine list without vintages? Is the Bordeaux a '90 or a '91?

When i ordered a barolo from the wine list and the waitress discovered that they had none...so i asked if they had the barbaresco on the wine list from the same producer...she consulted the owner who proceeded to retrieve a barbera d'asti and started to open it. When i pointed out it was a barbera d'asti and it wasn' even on the owner's list she just said "i know."

The "Fake Wine List" that is often presented at restaurants. The List is often months old and very few of the wines listed are actually in stock. Since most restaurants have computers and printers, you'd think they could print out new wine lists at a minimum of weekly. Many, however, seem to enjoy passing out the fake lists and trying to be impressive with the extensive wine selection.

quote:

Originally posted by Sandy Fitzgerald:
The "Fake Wine List" that is often presented at restaurants. The List is often months old and very few of the wines listed are actually in stock. Since most restaurants have computers and printers, you'd think they could print out new wine lists at a minimum of weekly. Many, however, seem to enjoy passing out the fake lists and trying to be impressive with the extensive wine selection.

or even worse yet, getting rid of the wine list. They have about 10 wines and now just say 'tell me what you like' and i'll bring you something. they are basically just looking for people to order a glass by the grape.

the last time we stopped in with some friends and our kids and asked if they have anything sparkling, our server asked a coworker who said all of our seltzer waters and soda are over in the deli cooler

Eventually they figured out that they had a bottle of something for $14. My wife ordered it, I had no intention of touching it, but when it showed up it was something that retails for $25. I was so exasperated I didn't ask any more questions and ordered a glass of pinot grigio.

I don't like going to a restaurant and having to ask for the "cellar selection" wine list or whatever it might be called. If you given or ask for the wine list, please give them all to me. Not sure why some restaurants have a separate list. Seems as though some revenue might be lost if someone doesn't know to ask for the "other one"

quote:

Originally posted by Qhdeputy:
I don't like going to a restaurant and having to ask for the "cellar selection" wine list or whatever it might be called. If you given or ask for the wine list, please give them all to me. Not sure why some restaurants have a separate list. Seems as though some revenue might be lost if someone doesn't know to ask for the "other one"

I do always ask if they have any off-menu selections. Often these are wines they only get 6 or 12 bottles of a year and not worth them adding to their list.

I have found some true gems from asking this question.