Last week I supped at a "5-star" restaurant. You need to book reservations at least 4 months in advance, but I gave the typical hostess three Ben Franklins, and we were in like Flynn lol. The interior architecture was amazing, the wine list was outstanding, the ambiance was wonderful.

The first impression was ideal.

I ordered the 2002 Downing Zinfandel before being seated, and told the typical hostess that this shall be opened and poured exactly one minute after we took our seats, no sooner or later. The sommelier had developed a little method for opening screw-caps. She first gave it a slight twist, breaking the seal between the cap and o-ring. Then, she placed her thumb firmly on the cap and gave it a swift flick. The cap spiraled off the bottle-top in the typical counter-clockwise motion, and flew up ten feet into the air, hit the ceiling, and then descended and landed upright into the palm of the same hand which bore the thumb that had originally sent the cap into this historic flight.

She then stood akimbo, smiling.

It was amazing.

I ordered the Kobe filet mignon, charred well. I explained to the waiter that all of my food must be prepared to order, including the foi gras basmati sticky rice. I said,

"If my rice is not perfectly al-dente, I will leave and never return, in addition, if my carrot-greens have a hint of char from grill flame-up, I will not pay for this dinner, please use 1 clove of fresh garlic with my greens, and exactly one teaspoon of salt with my rice; olive oil instead of butter." The food arrived fifteen minutes later.

What I thought was a chocolate truffle on my dish turned out to be my filet mignon. The greens and rice were spread and flattened across the plate to fill the void. I felt a furious rage bound to erupt.

My forehead turned purple.

The veins in my neck pulsated and strained.

"Waiter, WAITER," I cried! "What is this?! The menu describes the filet as 12 ounces. This is a golf-ball. Fix this, NOW, NOW!!!"

He began to explain that Kobe beef is mostly fat, blah blah blah... I told him to shut up right-quick if he knew what was good for him, and my filet must be 12 ounces cooked, tell the chef, and re-fire the order pronto, double ASAP. He mentioned price and pre-cut blah-blah, I said money is no object make it happen NOW, be-gone!!!!!
The chef came to the table with a slab of meat that looked like a tri-tip.

He said, "I will cook this for you, well-done,"
to which I replied,

"that will suffice"

It arrived at the table, twenty minutes later, and it was the size of a baseball.

Joy

I was charged $600 for the filet and charged the entire dinner to my company expense account with a 50% tip lol. Now that they know me at this restaurant as a spendthrift fool and everyone is afraid of me, I will be sure to get VIP service and never need a reservation again.

Yes!

So 8ella,
Did you get to shag the handsome chef that made the Kobe filet?

You had me at akimbo.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: GreenDrazi,

quote:

Originally posted by Bella Donna:
So 8ella,
Did you get to shag the handsome chef that made the Kobe filet?

I hooked up with the suave chef. Unfortunatly, Kobe meat and Japs go hand in hand. As he got hotter, he got smaller. 100 mph rabbit sex is all good, though.